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Thursday, 20 October 2016

Renungan Hati

Bintang tanpa bulan
Tampak sedih bukan?
Tapi bulan tanpa bintang
Terlihat kesepian bukan?
Bulan terkadang muncul tanpa bintang
Begitu juga dengan bintang
Memang semestinya
Bulan muncul tanpa bintang
Bintang muncul tanpa bulan
Memang semestinya
Namun ketika berdua
Senang sekali terlihat

Friday, 14 October 2016

Hal yang tak terduga terjadi
Mungkin ini adalah takdir?
Takdir ini harus melewatiku dulu
Sebelum takdir ini melekat padanya

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Renungan Ketabahan

Terasa berat hatiku. Sungguh.
Ketika aku memasuki ruangan aku terasa berat.
Dimana aku harus menjadi salah satu penopang ruangan ini.
Hari demi hari.
Hatiku terus terkoyak namun ragaku tetap tegar
Mungkinkah hati yang terkoyak mampu menopang badan ini?
Aku takut
Aku takut
Apabila aku terjatuh siapakah yang akan menopang ruangan itu?
Apakah hatiku masih akan tetap kuat?
Sungguh aku disini terkoyak
Tapi badan tetap bertahan

Sunday, 18 September 2016

Abandoned but not forgotten

It seems like long time that I haven’t seen her. The last time I did I think is when we were still together, but now that she is in front of me I’m still not sure that the woman in front of me is her. She turns this way, and surprised me by calling my name, “Randy!” I don’t know if it’s the luminosity from the streetlights but she looks more beautiful now. From that moment there’s something awakened in my heart, an intention I don’t know I should follow or not. She then walk towards me and makes me more surprised by hugging me! With a feeling not to be impolite I respond by hugging her back, with this my intention grows bigger.

Her hair smells nice, I remember when we first started dating. Somehow that night is not too different from this, in a cold night, she looks beautiful and we hug but this time I didn’t end our hug with a kiss only by a smile. She smiles back at me, “Its been a long time Randy,” she says “somehow it’s not so different than our first date huh?” Ohh, when she says that I immediately have an urge to kiss her but I held back. “Yeah, it kind of does”

After that we talked a little bit and then she propose we go to a cafe nearby from there, so we could chat some more. You know, for old-time sake. We chat and we chat some more but this time we sometimes hold hands, and intertwined our fingers. I became more aware of her and the intention that I had before grows some more rather than goes dim. In the middle of our talk — I don’t remember how the conversation lead to there — she said “How come we broke up Randy? I mean why we did that.” I don’t know how to answer that question but I replied with, “Don’t know, and don’t want to remember.” I said jokingly. After that our conversation never goes to that direction anymore, but I can see by the way she acts. That she is interested in me again. With this my intention became sure.

The night is ending, and the cafe is almost closed. We laugh at our past, we talked about how we feel when we were happy and sad when we were still together but still the night is still have to end, how it ended I don’t know. We then go outside while holding our hands together, “I had fun tonight.” She says while smiling at me. I smile back and said, “So did I.” She releases her hand from me, but then both of them goes to behind my neck. She leans to me and I responded by leaning my head to her. She goes closer to me, at first my eyes focused on her lips but I slowly close my eyes. By the time I close my eyes, my lips taste nothing but my chest feels something is pressing me. I opened my eyes and her head is on my chest, and she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

She pulls her hand. Tears is showing from her eyes. “I’m sorry, Randy. I thought I could do this,” I stand there and did nothing, don’t know what to do. She puts her hands to her pocket, and pulls out this tiny object. It’s a ring. “You see I’m already married, I’m sorry Randy. I thought I could do this. When I first saw you there is something awakened in my heart, and I won’t deny it. I still remember all the dates you have taken me into. I will always remember what you have given me, all the laughs and memories. But still I can’t have you. I’m sorry.” She walks away.
I stand there speechless, not knowing what to do. I felt I have been cheated, but more to surprised. Not because of what she said, but because the same intention as me. To cheat.
In that cold night I walked away too, but now with a ring in my finger again.